Monday, March 7, 2011

The Settlement

I am through with settling for things.




I think that I have settled with alot in my life. I've always been pretty relaxed about certain decisions, and made to be "okay" with it. Well...I am done.

I've been thinking alot lately. These massive life changing thoughts that have really compounded this nearly 37 year old brain, which in turn have caused many restless nights, emotional outbursts and general feelings of WTF?.

I am almost 37. I have lived pretty much "okay" through most of it. I've had a roof on my head, and hot meals. I've gone to "school" and got an education. I've bought a car, I've bought a "house". I have been married and I have a child. Pretty boring, pretty mundane, pretty usual.

I wish I had/have done more. I wish I applied myself. I wish I could stop watching the world go by me in such a blur, that I'm left, my head spinning wondering what happened.

I look at what I have done my life and I realize that I have "settled" into a comfortable zone. That needs to change.

I will redo our budget. I will rethink and retool how I will possibly/maybe go back to school, and get back to making real money again. I will not sit on the couch every night, sociallizing when there's a whole world of things I could be learning; for myself AND for my family. I am SICK of what I have become. Just because we don't have the means to do alot...WE can do more. I WILL write out that five year plan. We WILL try for #2.

I just can't settle anymore. I can't sit here and wallow in my self misery and think of "what was". I need to grab my life by the horns, and wrangle it in. I need to do this for US.

My goals:
lose 50 pounds in 2011
learn to sew
learn to knit
read more
sell off or get rid of the clutter
exercise more/Yoga
find out about how I can get back into school
try for #2

I want to add more, and once I learn a trade, I will. All these goals are attainable and highly reachable.

No More Settling.



Anonymous said...

Congrats on the realization of more things to come, and wishing you the best in achieving them.


catazure said...

You can and will do it, Gretch. I stand by with advice and will PM you on your training ideas. Congrats on the weight loss! I wish you joy in grabbing your life and controlling th direction.

Staci said...

I was wondering if you are still writing? You have an amazing gift there and can be something that you could pick up again....Oh yeah, have fun working on #2 :)

gretchen0720 said...

Thanks Bill (ahem Anon)! :)

Jen - you have helped so much in the past year. You are a blessing!

Spaclee - I've been writing here and there, but not like in HS (oh lord). I should dig up that little piece of work :)

Tamara said...

I think you already know this, but I share many, many of the same feelings, G. I admire you for sharing, and I know great things are on their way for you and yours!

~ellen~ said...

Go, Gretchen! :)